In today's transient society, change occurs all the time. Friends move away, family disconnects, workmates change jobs, and relationships fizzle out. As a result, it can be very difficult to maintain a network of close friends, and loneliness can set in.
When you're the one that has moved, the feelings of disconnect can become even more pronounced. Though a move usually starts as an exciting adventure, eventually the "honeymoon phase" comes to a close and the reality of the move sets in. As weeks pass, it may dawn on you that that nobody in your new town knows your name, there's no instant coffee date available, and it may be difficult to find someone to write down as an emergency contact on important papers.
The landline telephone in your new home rarely rings and, as spectacular as your new home is, it lacks joy without special friends and family to share it with.
The Gamut of New Emotions
Once you've moved far from all that is familiar, you may begin to experience feelings of disconnect or loneliness. The people and places that you've grown accustomed to, and perhaps even took for granted before, are no longer within reach.
It's not necessarily because of you or your personality that you feel glum. Lonely feelings are a by-product of the moving experience, and common to many who've moved.
When reality sets in, so does the disappointment of realizing that there was no hoard of people waiting for you to arrive in your new location. It also doesn't take long to realize that the people where you've "landed" already have connections of their own. Fitting in can be a challenge.
Connect
In order to develop the kinds of relationships you'll need, it may help to change your expectations. Don't be too hard on yourself or on people that you let you down. It's still important to make the most of the opportunity you've been given. Try to make some connections. To find new friends, you'll have to put yourself into uncomfortable situations. It may mean walking into a room full of people that you don't know.
You will be the new person in the group and may need to take the initiative to get what you need.
Find a Confidante
It is healthy for people, in general, to have someone other than their spouse to confide in. It is even more imperative that a moved person find someone to confide in and help them weather the change. Having someone to share your feelings and your life experiences with will enhance your emotional well-being.
Consider Professional Help
If you're really struggling with life after your move, find someone to partner with such as a therapist, counsellor or life coach. Your place of employment may help you make connections. There are also anonymous services online where you can use a credit card to enlist professional telephone or email counselling or coaching.
A counsellor, therapist or medical doctor is the right choice if you're depressed. A life coach is someone that can be instrumental in helping you define positive steps to take and who will coach you through them.
A coach or therapist can become the one common denomination in your life during your transition and help fill the gap until you make new connections.
Don't let feelings of isolation and loneliness after a move make a mess of your life! Get the support you need.
